I was a little disturbed to get slightly aroused by looking at it during

Already awake with anxiety on my mind. 😕 had a semi ok day yesterday.  Stayed in bed til 12:30 then fought anxiety attacks and crying fits allllll day. So exhausted.  Have not cut myself since the little mishap the other day but I do still have bright red scratch lines from before and when we were having sex last night I was a little disturbed to get slightly aroused by looking at it during. I literally have 2 Ativans left since I've been taking them every night and during daily anxiety attacks.  I'm going to have to call that Dr and fear the possibility of feeling judged as misusing which I'm def not.  My brain is broke. 😢 I think it would be awesome if there were one set of schematics for all brains then those brain docs could just rewire those of us who are defective. 😷 Then I could be NORMAL!! 👏 lol wishful thinking!