I got all new meds yesterday and felt optimistic. Now today I feel like total crap. I'm arty went back to bed. I'm arty feel like I failed my entire day. Already  thrown up. My anxiety is so out-of-control.  I need help and I'm afraid to ask for it because I don't know who to ask for from.  I don't want to die simply because I don't want to hurt my family but I don't want to exist anymore because my pain is too hard