I had a terribly shitty night

After a pretty good day I had a terribly shitty night!  I had all intentions of using no meds and trying this you tube insomnia meditation rain thing I found.  Stupid thing had a tiny pause where it shouldn't have which made me realize it was on a loop and threw me into an anxiety attack so I took the meds =( grrr... no cutting though, but thought about it. 3 more wake-ups until BRD is home for good. =) happy.