Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I fail. I fail. I fail. I fail!

OMG! Everything is making me fucking crazy! I mean EVERYTHING! Whats wrong with me? I need new meds I think! I cant remember shit, I mean important shit! Why? I want to break stuff! Why? I want to be alone! Why? I hate everything and everybody! Why? I'm so sick of being me. The only thing that keeps me from not being here is Kait. If I didnt have her..... Oh shut up, I'm NOT really going to do anything stupid! Duh...didnt you read the "magic" word? If not re-read dumbass! I said IF! Ill march on with this fucking unforgiving urge to go crazy because I dont want to hurt her. I hate how I feel right now! GOD! Oh, is there a "god"? I aint seen no proof yet! All I see is the devil every fuckin where I look! I'm tired. I'm fat. I'm sick. I'm hateful. I'm mean. I'm poor. I'm trying.....I fail. I fail. I fail. I fail!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Bless his little heart

Good God, my bi-polar is acting up like nobodys business! SUPER high highs and SUPER low lows. Oh! and all that in 1/2 an hour. Poor Cliff. Bless his little heart.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

thats it I'M GANGSTA!

I have an appointment to go to the "Fat Farm" Wednesday....that's what I call it....The Fat Farm. The place you are forced to go to before WLS (Weight Loss Surgery). 9:00am. Fun. Usually lasts 2-3 hours. We sit in a group of 6-8, nod our heads in that "ohhhhhh......thats great information" way so that we look interested. I know I should be taking this much more serious, but you cant help how you feel! Thats my motto. "You cant help how you feel" oh! and "It's easier to apologize then to ask for permission" but I dont think that has any relevance here. My etsy has picked up a little. I went out on a limb and started my own BNR (Buy and replace). I'm nooooo good at promo. Ugh! I'm NOT giving up though. I dont give up! Oh yea, except for that weight loss thing. That makes me give up every time! well....back to work with paper and a glue stick!

Kisses to my bitches and hugs to my thugs....lmao....that sounded SUPER gangta coming from this little (uh little vertically) white 35y/o fat chick! lmao....thats it I'M GANGSTA!