A Picture Says a Thousand Words...

I woke up at 6:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and turned on the T.V. and the computer and was looking at Christmas photos and found this one... It says a lot I think. She was being silly. I love that she is comfortable in her own skin inside our home in front me and Cliff.

Owie

I called out of work today and went to the Dr. My back is KILING me! So now I'm out til Monday. I feel like I failed, but I'm in alot of pain. I did as my Dr. what he thought about gastric bypass surgery and he said he thought it was a good idea and put in a referral to see a nutritionalist....FINALLY! I positive that more that half my health issues are weight related. Pain in muscles head to toe, cramps, high blood pressure, high cholestrol..etc. There are several people in my family that have already had the surgery so I already know what to expect, the good and the bad. My aunt almost died...scary but she succeeded. She went from around 400lbs to about 140. My mother and aunt on the other hand went from 240 and 300 down and back up again. There is a girl at work, Eva, she's pretty heavy and has a referral too so I think I'm going to try to team up with her and do this thing. I know it's an extremely long process but I'm psyched. I am gonna go on with the low carb diet starting tomorrow because I know the nutritionalist will tell me I have to eat better, etc. anyway.


I woke up at 2:30am this morning, pain. Kaity was up, she couldnt sleep either so we watched the reruns of The Bad Girls Club and stayed up til I called out around 7 and then I went to bed and she fell out on the couch. Got up around 11:30 and went and got breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts (The DD) in the hopes that Cliff and Kaity would be ok when I woke them up to clean today. Well I had to act like an idiot! When I came in I smelled piss so I left the door open and Cliff closed it so I got an attitude and said I can barely stand him anymore...that was so freakin' mean, I didnt mean it. I went into my bedroom and had my coffee and muffin in there then cleaned up. When I finally started to relax and stop acting like an asshole I came out and Cliff and Kaity were cleaning to I started helping them and apologized. Later I sat down on the couch with Kaity and she told that I REALLY upset Cliff and said she knows how it goes because she hurts people unintentionally all the time too then feels bad. I'm so damn lucky this man knows me and know that I don't mean the stupid, hateful, idiotic things I sometimes say to him. He is the love of my life and as Edward (Twilight) would say...."I don't want to live in a world where he doesn't exist". =)

This evening Kaity went with her daddy and Cliff took me to the Dr. for my back then to P.F. Changs to spend that last Gift Card...The best Chinese I've ever had but whew...kinda glad the gift cards are gone....I'm really tired of eating out! I know I know....I know unbelievable huh! lol So now we are home, watching reruns of Family Guy, playing computer games and rented some movies, G Force and District 9 I think. Maybe he will help me play my W.O.W. character later. (we are such nerds). =)

Ok...all that business about me being excited about my "project" at work....NIX IT! My body hurts so bad, I cant even begin to explain it. Basically we (a team of 2, which is ridiculous btw) have to take 700 to 1000 photos of specific parts of the store inside and out (its about 25' out) and then measure specific parts. Well I cant take it. Call me fat, lazy or whatever but I cant take it! I'm sure my weight has something to do with it, but I'm pretty sure my fibromyalgia is kicking my ass. Everytime I think about going back tomorrow, I wanna cry....quit. I cant quit. Its my once chance to do something important, to show'em what I'm capable of. But I hurt.....BAD. On the upside, I called home and complained to my hubby and Kaity had me a "spot" on the couch with a heating blanket for my legs and dinner is ordered. I love them so much! =) So thats that. Off to dinner and hatchlings.

Carrabba's and a bad back....

Omg...My first day back to work in 4 days and my back is KILLING me! I have those icy hot patch things all over the place! Not working!
2nd restaurant out of the way....Carrabba's! It was delicious, I had a steak, Cliff had lasagna and Kaity had lobster ravioli. Oh! and doggie bags of course! =) Now that just leaves P.F. Changs before Thursday and our "Family Diet" on Friday.
Kaity is very proud that shes growing bangs! YAY! Most of the top is still pretty bald but, hey, shes trying so I'm a proud Mama! =) After dinner we stopped at Game Stop and Cliff bought an extra controller so Kaity could play is new PS3 with him so that's what they are doing. I am searching for Hatchlings (as usual) and thought I would stop to blog (trying not to miss any days).
At work the store manager (Rob) actually came into the lab to ask me to take on a project. He said he expects the project to take 12-16 hours. I have to watch a video on the project instructions then basically take pics of everything in the store. I'm kinda excited, and he seed relatively happy that I'm excited, I even got a pat in the back, a literal pat on the back! lol Probably never see that again, but one can hope.
A really good friend of mine and me are planning to get matching tattoos this week. The owner of a local shop gave us buy one get one free coupons last week so we are having another friend design drama masks (representing us both being bipolar). I'm thinking of letting Kaity get a tattoo too. Something small, maybe an inspirational word.
Anyway...TTFN

The Cheesecake Factory and W.O.W

Dinner was AMAZING. Cliff had a $30 ribeye and I had the Mahi Mahi...delicious! When we got home we watched the new Ice Age movie (excellent) and played Bunco then watched Extract (ok)then he talked me into creating a W.O.W. avatar. That's World of Warcraft for you non-wowers! =) I'm at level 5 already....woo hoo. I'm pretty sure there is a method to his madness though. He got a PS3 and Grand Theft Auto for Christmas so I'm thinking this is his attempt at a distraction so I won't fight over the T.V. =)

Kait is still with her Dad, home today. I miss her, but I will also miss the relax time I get when she's there. TTFN I'm off to check on my hatchlings.

Kaity's Shopping

I really don't know how often you're supposed to blog, but I've decided that I'll do it whenever I feel like it. =) Kaitlyn (Kaity) stayed with her dad last night so she just stopped in to grab all her Christmas gift cards and cash to head to the mall. I wonder how long it will take her to spend it all. Lol....probably not very long. She has a Barnes and Noble gift card, I hope she gets something good that I'd like to read. She said she'd wait to spend the Aeropostale ones with me. Those kinds of thing make me feel amazing. Anyway....since she's staying with Dad again tonite, Cliff and I are gonna use one of our gift cards as well.....THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY! Mmmmmmmm..... I've never been but I'm definetely looking forward to it! We are trying to use all the restaurant cards before the first of the year when, yet again, we start dieting. The whole house is overweight, even the cats, dogs and yes, even the damn fish! We have 6 days to eat at The Cheesecake Factory, P.F. Changs & Carrrabba's! Should be fun. =)

I'm new

I don't know what possessed me to start a blog but here goes. I really don't even know where to begin. I feel like my life is like a big bowl of spaghetti with twists and turns that never ever end. I'm a 34 year old woman, married (round 2), have 1 biological child (a daughter) and 2 step-sons (that I never see). My husband and I, Cliff, have been married since June 8th, 2002, 7 1/2 years. He is my best friend and the love of my life, although he quietly takes second seat to my daughter, Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn is 14, though she doesnt act it most of the time. She has a disorder called Trichotillomania that pretty much has engulfed all of our lives. If you don't know, Trichotillomania, or "Trich" as we call it, is a disorder that forces you to pull your own hair out one strand at a time. It's horrible. In one year my beautiful, athletic, golden haired cheerleader turned into an almost completely bald, bi-polar, overweight depressed girl who has pulled just about all her hair out of her head and cuts herself to get relief from the regular anxiety attacks. I love her so much. I wish I could take it all away, and I've tried. I've tried everything. Doctor's, psychologists, councilers, phyciatric hospitals, home schooling, it's all been a nightmare.

Well, Cliff just ran to Dunkin Donuts so I'm gonna go and enjoy my coffee. Am I supposed to blog whenever I feel like it, or once a day or?