Lose weight to get fat surgery, if thats not an oxymoron, I dont know what is

I'm so crazy...I really need to stop pretending that I dont need a psychiatrist...lol...cause I do! Anyway...got a lot of phone stuff done for surgery today. Then comes the fact that I have to "fudge" a food log all the way back to March! I suck! I started, then got mad at myself and stopped. I dislocated my knee at work in April so I've become addicted to stupid Facebook games and eating. I have gained weight and now that I'm back on track (appt.-wise) I need to lose about 15-20lbs. Lose weight to get fat surgery, if thats not an oxymoron, I dont know what is...lmao! ;)~ I'm so deprssed I dont know what to do with myself...just thought seeing some words in black and white might help.