I got some sleep! Thank you Advil PM

Woke up in a better mood today, probably because I got some sleep!  Thank you Advil PM.  Got up and straightened up the house a little.  Still have to huge containers of grapes staring at me, but I'm not ready to deal with them yet.

  Cliff's mom want's me to go get a mani-pedi with her today, but I'm just not feeling up to it, as much as I'd love to.  Instead, I will stay here and cry and whine to myself and watch Dr. Phil all day.  Cliff just called and wanted to run down his entire workday to me, but when I start complaining about how I feel, he decides he's gotta go back to work and will call me after he gets off.  Everyone kinda does that to me.  I guess they are all just tired of hearing me whine all the time.  I must admit, I am definitely I whiner!  I'm thinking of having a "Friday Dinner" with friends like we used to do, but I don't know how I will feel come Friday, so we will see.  I DON'T want to drive to bike week next week, but I feel like I have to so that a friend and her daughter doesn't have to drive.  I always get myself into these situations.  I haven't really rode the bike at all this summer and this would be my chance, but I'll probably drive because I always put others ahead of myself.  I need to get stronger.  I think I may need a psychiatrist, seriously.  Secretly.  I wouldn't want anyone to know.

I LOVE my coffee 'cause I love pooping

So it's only 11:22am but I gotta tell you, I LOVE my coffee 'cause I love pooping.  I know, I know TMI but, when you only go once a week if you're lucky, hey! it's a significant part of your day! 

Now back to your regularly scheduled bitch session.  Grapes.  I have fucking grapes all over the damn place.  Not literally, but there are 2 huge containers full.  All sent over from Cliff's mom's personal vines.  I guess I'm supposed to make jelly, but frankly I just don't feel like it.  I'm pissy, grouchy, whiney and I wanna go back to bed and stay there, but what I'll actually do is sit here with this laptop on the couch for a bit, with my aching legs and burning neck and back, and then get up and suffer through more cleaning and eventually GRAPE JELLY! Not happy.

Do I need to go back on my Prozac???? Maybe

So...I'm back already!  Do I need to go back on my Prozac???? Maybe!  So Mr. Lazy as Hell decided he's exhausted from sleeping 'til 9:30 and the sitting in his "spot" on the couch playing his stupid farm game! GAAHHHHH!!! Off to do laundry!

Gimme a break!

Gimme a break! God, I feel like Nell Carter! These people I call my family are lazy as fuck!  It's Sunday (fun day) and I'm cleaning up after everyone.  My fibromyalgia is KILLING me today.  Cliff is away Monday thru Friday now, for his new job at Sheetz so I've been going with him every other week. 

 
I'm the only one in the house that does not clock in and out of a job so I do EVERY FUCKING THING ELSE! You'd think that when they see me folding laundry or making the bed or standing at the sink doing the dishes and bawling they'd help.  HELL NO!  they sure do not. I sure am glad I have myself to vent to.  Thank you blogger.com!

I hate being inside myself!  I can't take it!  One minute I'm extra happy, the next just livid.  Bi-polar

Woke up fucking crazy

Woke up fucking crazy!  Cliff got fired over a month ago for, of all things sexual harassment.  Of course he didn't do it but I'm struggling with that too.  I don't know what the hell goes on when I'm not around.  Who does?  Anyway, that's a whole other thing that I don't want to think about right now.  He starts at Sheetz on Friday.  I love that man with all my heart and soul, but I need a little space and time to miss and appreciate him.  I'm writing today, because I gotta get it out.  What do I gotta get out?  I don't know, but something.  I'm all but positive its bi-polar but it could be the Fibro.  Kait will be 18 in exactly one month and its killing me.  I have made an excellent "normal" friend in Sandy.  I love that chick.  She grounds me and helps me see the positive.  The kind of friend that I feel like I try to be.  I want to love Jen as my best friend, but I just cant do it.  I feel like I'm calling her my best friend because I want Junior in my life.  She's so selfish and makes everything a out her and her life.  I hate some of the things she says, it hurts.  I just wish I could find that one freakin life long friend!  I think that could be Sandy but we will see.  Right now, at this very moment, I feel like my mental breakdown has come to a peak and I'm starting to come down.  The positive people in my life are all texting me.  Sandy, Clifford, Kait, and Marcia (Mom).  I love them. <3 and="" better...apologies="" cliff="" feel="" for="" get="" home.="" i="" kait="" listening...="" m="" nbsp="" ok="" out="" p="" thanks="" they="" when="">
Love,
     Me

I always feel extra happy after an Hogs and Heroes meeting or event.  Mostly everyone is a joy to around, plus I feel popular.  We have a lot of events coming up for many great causes.  It makes my heart happy when the recipient of our efforts is so very grateful.   Cliff and I spent the morning in a volunteer leadership meeting at the Perry Point Veterans Hospital then the afternoon with my Mom and Pop and the evening at the meeting with our biker buddies.  All in all a pretty good day.  Tomorrow I plan to spend some time with my Kaity Bird, maybe so a little clearance shopping at Walmart in hops of finding some items to make raffle baskets with for some of these events.  I miss that kid.  Thursday, I will pack to get ready for my "girls weekend" with my family off to West Virginia.  Should be a riot.