Doctor Doctor

This is my friend Eva...love this girl!


It was an OK day, I guess. Kinda blah. FINALLY got finished with the store planning this morning (yay). Then got into spring cleaning the lab. The girls are probably gonna hate it but it needs to get done! I did get to leave at 1:00pm today, 3 hours early! =) So I took Kaity to the psychiatrist for meds. On the way home she mentioned that she wanted to move. I hope Cliff gets this job, but he hasn't heard a word about it yet. We stopped and she bought a new wig, its beautiful. I post a pic soon. Then she called her Dad and we dropped her off there on our way home then stopped at Burger King...I know, I know...the diet is screwed anyway. I have ZERO willpower! I did make an appointment for Eva and I to go to the nutritionist on Friday. I'm VERY happy about that. Tomorrow I'm going to make an appointment for me and Michele to go to the Fat Farm (diet Dr.) Came home and took a nap, now I feel like shit and probably wont sleep well tonite.

Missed a day

Whoops...I missed yesterdays blog post. Long day. Kaity came home around 5:15 on Sunday after a text that said that she decided that if Cliff gets this Shift Mgr job that she would be willing to move to Va. Initially she was dead sent against moving but I think shes starting to see a different side of her dad. So she came home which made me feel better instantly. We played Bunco and ate dinner, then she and I went to my room to snuggle and watch T.V. That's when her anxiety started. She wanted to pull (her hair) so badly, but deep down she didn't want to pull at all. She cried and asked me to hold her and hold her hands, which of course I did until she cried herself to sleep in my bed about an hour later. There is no feeling worse than not being able to do anything for your child when they are in pain. When I got up to tell Cliff to let me know when he was ready for bed so I could move her gently, she woke up and started crying again. She was upset that I was leaving the room, but I assured her I would be right back. I went out to talk to Cliff and, being the most amazing husband/dad in the world, he told me to leave her in there and just grab him a pillow and blanket and he'd stay on the couch. I told him that it wasn't necessary but he insisted saying that sometimes a girl needs her mom and tonite was Kait's night. I love him so much! So I kissed him goodnight and headed back to bed watching reruns of The Golden Girls and holding my baby so that she could rest. I believe I finally fell asleep around 1:00am but woke up at 3:00am to go to the bathroom, which of course woke her up. So we were up until about 4:00am then I had to get back up at 5:50am for work. She felt better then and asked me if she could be dropped off at my sisters which is about 2mins away. So she spent most of the day there. Now she is having pain in her back and stomach. Hopefully that is just girl issues (please!).

Still.....working on the stupid store planning crap! Geez will in ever end??? We should actually finish up the first half of the day tomorrow. We did present what we had to Rob (store mgr.) and he actually told us we did a really good job. (Very Cool). So that's that.....now I'm home for the night and about to crochet for a big. =)

sick and tired

I didnt even get outta bed yesterday at all. I feel like crap today too. Chills, stuffy nose, headache. Yuck! Kaity still isnt home. =( I miss her.

High Anxiety

I am having some seriously high anxiety!! I hate it! I just watched "The Cove". Terrible Terrible Terrible dolphin slaughtering going on in Taiji, Japan..sooo...sad! Tattoo doesnt even hurt a little, thats good! Didnt talk to Kaity at all today, thats bad. I miss her. I'm sad...depressed. A bipolar moment maybe, I dunno. Watching Forensic Files then The Golden Girls. The girls always seem to be there for me.....lol. I sometimes wish I had myself to talk to since I'm positive I'm the only one who understands me and thats only part of the time. I'm complicated, I think too much, too deeply. That bothers me sometimes. Sometimes I think about how quickly life is passing and it scares me. I should live for today and worry about dying when the time comes.

Blahhhhhh....

Well I did it. We met Michele at 1:00 and I got my tattoo. I'm a little disappointed that he didn't do it exactly the way Jess drew it but...he IS the artist. I'm happy with it though and I guess that's the most important thing. I ended up getting it on my upper back right above my tribal butterfly. Hopefully I can get a pic up soon.

I'm so blah now. I don't know why but I'm in such a funk. Bored... and I want bread and cake! Day one and I'm already feigning for my carbs. =( Oh well maybe I'll go look for a new game to download. Cliff has to work tomorrow and of course Kaity is still with her daddy so I'll be home alone.

Dieting SUCKS

ok...day one! No carbs is already kicking my ass! I got up around 8:30 and sat here at the computer trying to think of what is in the kitchen that doesnt have a lot of carbs...NOTHING! Finally at 11:30 I so hungry I gotta find something! Steak and onions! lol

Tattoo Day

So today is the day..."Tattoo Day"! Michele are meeting around 1:00 to get our tattoos. I'm so excited! Jess did a really good designing it! =) I'll post a pic later today.

Lots of changes today really. The Tattoo, the diet and the beginning of the gastric bypass, Kaits homeschool tudor, braces, motorcycle school and more travel for Cliff. One day at a time I guess.

Last night was a typical night for Cliff and me. Kaity was at her dads so we got a few movies ordered dinner (I can't believe it either), and stayed home. We watched the New York ball drop, kissed and I fell asleep....FUN FUN. I say that, but really I didnt want too much more than that anyway. Being big REALLY brings you down, well brings ME down.

My back still hurts...I swear the pain comes from the bones back there but Dr. Rana swears it doesnt so......what can I do?